I went and got myself a boyfriend..

There are certain things that should just never be left unsaid; I like you, I love you, I want to call you my girlfriend, your breath smells bad, you’ve got cum on your face.  Not everything has to be expressed like a leaf falling from a tree in a Thomas Hardy classic, but it’s useful to get these pieces of information out into the physical world, they are more useful there than as musings in your head.

Hurt

I could cry out loud for the way you hold her hostage

The days wasted, the months of haze and pain

This is life now, how was it ever so different

Time flies by but we are unable to move

Your days are numbered , how unfair that they are taken from you

So how do I stand it, just observe and carry on

I can’t help but worry that one day you’ll be gone

I’m scared you’ll be so sad that you are in this trap

Just because of that  one walk, one bite, a silent attack

And this is how we live now, with furrowed forheads as we go about our days

Because nothing can be done, the doctors out of options, my grandma sits and prays

But we are at the mercy, of your body and the universe

I like the way my tears taste, I hate the way you hurt

about a girl

I ain’t calling myself special

when i’m pointing out you’re not

You say you’re worth the trouble

but it turns out you’re worth squat

you’re preaching feminazi

while you terrorise the boys

for having tiny peckers

and playing with your toys

You better watch your step, my girl

you’re best foot sure aint forward

you be trippin’, why you lyin’

your embellished stories bore me

you’re spilling negativity

You hate and don’t let boys in

you brag bout being his side bitch

mouth laced up with poison

but what’s your aim, girl? What’s your goal

to make the world so angry 

go find a hobbie, get a job

don’t care that you can’t stand me

Sass.

I am what the people call ‘trendy’

I am what the freaks call ‘chic’

I am why the ladies say ‘splendid’

All you want to do like I did

 

Now you tryna say that you’ll end me

why you wanna cause me this shit

don’t you wanna know me, well your friend did

she’s the one that told me bout this

 

get tipsy, get nasty, get dressy, get lippy

you trashy, not classy, those brows are not fleek

you’ll see me, you want me, don’t fight it, just drop it

I’ll drop you, and squash you, your bars are all weak

 

If you think you got the whole package

get your sealed delivered ass here

You say you wanna hit me, well your man did

Wonder if you’ll fuck me like him

 

Stop stressin’, i’m messin’, you’re thoughts are not pressin’

You bitchin, you wastin’ and whining to me

snap out and jump in, to reality bring, all your baggage to me

i’ll be down at the gym and just toss it or throw it chuck it

you’re stoic, you’re boring, you’re being the worst you can be

 

I am what the people call ‘trendy’

I am what the freaks call ‘chic’

I am why the ladies say ‘splendid’

All you want to do it like me

My first promise to me

This year is for exploring, for expanding my mind, strengthening my body.  I’ll dedicate myself to actually living, to enjoying and appreciating.  This year I’ll push myself, get to know myself, grow myself.  This year is for accepting what already is and acknowledging what’s beyond my control.  This year is for loving – my environment, my family, friends and myself.  This year is for music, for yoga and travel, food, family and friends.  I see the sad times creeping towards me, heartbreak washing over me, but I will not shy away – let it wash over me, let it sting and burn.  I’ll grow comfortable in discomfort, take strength when I feel weak, I promise myself, I will be present for it all.

 

blanks

Sometimes I just want to grab you and kiss you

Would you have told me, do you want me to

Am I just obsessing and stressing while you don’t have a clue

My sofa’s not so big but when I’m sitting next to you

And my head’s not on your shoulder it feels so fucking huge

I’ll be looking at your picture and a smile creeps on my face

I’m not even scared you’ll hurt me, but I can’t say this to your face

Because my heart beats so much faster and my mouth just seems to stop

And the words that come so quick now, well my mind, it just gets blocked

So if you want me, come and show me, hold me slowly, kiss me quick

While I’m sitting here at work all I can think of is your