After having someone close die, a broken heart is the worst pain my body has been through. It wakes me up at 5am, I can’t eat and sometimes I can’t breath. There is no mental release and my muscles ache as much as my chest does. The foreign idea that this will get better is all that keeps me going.
Not only am I mourning the loss of my best friend and home, I am also acutely aware that she is going through a similar pain and somehow that makes it all ten times worse. I do not feel happy or hopeful, this doesn’t feel right, how could anything this painful be done with conviction.
I’m trying to comfort myself thinking of the resetting of bones, the pain that has to be experienced and even after that, the restrictive cast and the unreachable itch. I think I’m suffering some aftershock from the reset and I’m waiting to have my cast, some much needed support and structure even if im sure that too will come with its own struggles.